I didn't ask to get made
by Nyx Nox
Summary: A oneshot reflecting on Nebula and the quote "I didn't ask to be torn apart and put back together, over and over and turned into some… some little monster." CW: Abuse, light gore {Please note that this is movie and not comic based}


Fists and swords were flying, two girls no older than ten wrapped up in battle while their father and instructor looked on. Disapproval traced over Thanos' features when the blue-skinned one appeared to overpower the green. The look of triumph that took over Nebula's expression was short lived to the smaller girl flipping her over onto her back, a sickening crack echoing when Gamora tackled her to the ground.

The two froze, dagger to dagger as they stared into each other's eyes. Tears threatened to pool from Nebula's eyes while she caught her breath. Gamora merely looked on, knowing she couldn't afford an apology unless she wanted their father to scold them both.

"Finish her," Ronan's voice made both girls jump, Nebula left whimpering when she jostled her leg. She held her breath and grit her teeth. What happened next was a blur. Gamora damaged Nebula's leg in the way Ronan taught them just days ago. Nebula was seeing stars. It was a struggle to try to push her sister off with the pain as overwhelming as it felt.

The next thing she could remember was their father towering over them.

"Well done, Gamora," The titan purred, gently running his fingers through her hair. Nebula stared up at him from where she lay on the ground. She swallowed back the nauseous feeling forming in her stomach and slowly tried to sit up, gaze dropping to the stones beneath her when Thanos' gaze fell upon her. She didn't need to look at him to know he looked disgusted by her.

"I want that glitch fixed," He gestured at Nebula then turned toward Ronan. "Make it better than before and give it a chance to best Gamora."

Nebula didn't shift from where she sat, nervously eyeing the two men. It wasn't unusual for her to be referred to as an it instead of a living and breathing creature.

"We will try again at the end of the week," He murmured, guiding Gamora toward the arena's exit. "Nebula will be given a chance to show she isn't as worthless as she's proven to be over the last month."

Nebula wasn't given a choice when it came to moving. She bit down hard on her lip when her right leg was jostled, regretting having eaten the little bit of food that was allowed before the day's fight. Strands of black hair prevented her from seeing once Ronan situated her over his shoulder.

"I want to go back to my room," Nebula hissed through gritted teeth. She needed to rest and recuperate after everything. There was no way of putting up a fight as it was since her right hip was injured and Ronan had her hands gripped in a way that kept her from moving. She blacked out shortly before they reached the infirmary, the man had taken a detour into the operation room.

"She's coming to," The voice that spoke up was unfamiliar, Nebula shuddering against the cold table she was strapped to. "Is there more of the—"

"He'll want her to see this," Ronan interrupted. His voice had once been a comfort to her. Now it left her wishing she could calm the way her pulse was rushing. She would have been better off if Gamora truly finished her instead of maiming her. Anything would have been better than being back on the cutting board.

A sharp gasp escaped once Nebula chanced opening her eyes, struggling to keep from passing out at what she saw. They had taken her leg apart, the bones of her leg gone and replaced with countless wires that wrapped around her pelvic bone, traveling all the way down to her foot.

"He wanted to give you an advantage," Ronan murmured. "The instructions were to give you a leg up on Gamora."

Nebula willed herself to pass out after that, awakening hours later. She questioned if it was a dream but the stitches along the length of her leg quickly proved otherwise.

"Nebula you're up," She was given little chance to ready herself for the hug that came from Gamora. "I visited every day and waited for you to wake up. Father said—"

"I don't care about what he said," Nebula cut Gamora off. "Leave me alone so I can-"

"He wants you ready for training this afternoon," The younger girl frowned. "I— I didn't hurt you too badly?"

Nebula hesitated at that, paling at the thought. As mad as she was, she wasn't about to guilt her sister for what happened. Not yet anyway.

"I'll be fine." She murmured and lightly kissed Gamora's forehead. "Now leave me be. I need to train harder."

Training left Nebula disoriented, the majority of her focus falling on making sure she could walk normally. It was uncomfortable to move but she knew better than to complain. The last time she did resulted in the healer being far rougher with her than necessary. If she didn't know complaining did nothing, she would have gone as far as accusing the healer of deliberately forgetting to fuse some of the wires that were grinding against her skin.

It had all started with a blow to the back and Thanos' idea that it was best to remove the section of bone that was damaged and replace it with cybernetic material. She was terrified he wouldn't stop extracting bones until the only part of her that was left and properly hers was her heart, skin color, and brain.

Nebula went out of her way to avoid Gamora. She couldn't look at the younger girl without remembering the hours spent in agony while the man in the mask played doctor on her. He only ever gave enough to sedate her to a point of compliance. Blacking herself out was the only way to keep the pain away.

Thanos kept to his word in expecting the girls to face each other a few days after Nebula showed improvement. She prided in being able to act as though nothing was wrong once she faced Gamora for the first time in three days. There was no smile when she saw her. Nebula merely set her jaw and looked down at the younger girl, her batons in tow while she glared.

She wouldn't do anything catastrophic, plotting the ideal spot to attack as the adults counted down the seconds before the girls were supposed to face off.

Nebula lunged for Gamora, taking the younger girl by surprise when she went for her hand. The most satisfying part of the attack was successfully gripping her hand and managing to put enough pressure on it to make her wince out loud. The goal was to break her finger. She squeezed as hard as she could, unrelenting until Gamora swung after her. Nebula darted back, batons at the ready for when the girl struck back.

The two parried until they were across the battlefield, Nebula losing her footing briefly enough for Gamora to spot the sign of weakness. The two ended on the ground, rolling until Gamora was beneath Nebula. Nebula managed to headbutt her sister but the blow didn't do any good. Gamora regathered her senses and went for Nebula's eye, the force of the blow leaving her stunned for several seconds.

"Again, Gamora," Thanos' voice encouraged the younger girl to strike once more. Nebula clenched her jaw down, knowing the next blow would not be pretty. "The blade this time."

"Papa I'll hurt her," Gamora's worry was enough to suck the little air that was left out of Nebula's lungs. She wasn't aware she was holding her breath until their father kicked her in the side and forced her to release it.

"She's a disappointment," He didn't look down at her. "I expect you to put her in her place. Unless you prefer I'm the one to do so." He paused, waiting for Gamora to say something. "That's what I thought." The words were accompanied by a sneer. "Do it now."

Gamora hesitated then brought the blade down, pressing the knife into Nebula's face. She smelled the blood before she saw it, biting down hard on her tongue to keep from crying out in pain. The blade was too close to her eye. It left Nebula still. She panted in an attempt to get her breathing under control. The blade's removal left her passed out on the ground.

Everything was black. Nebula kept still, testing each of her limbs before shifting to pull at whatever was pressed against her face.

"No," The voice belonged to Thanos, his rough fingers curled around her wrists. Nebula recoiled and bit her lip to keep quiet. "You need to rest, my pet. We've calibrations to sort out the next time you awake."

There was no telling how many hours passed by the next time Nebula woke up. The first awakening had felt like a nightmare. The next was accompanied by a blinding light and the discovery that she was upright. Her vision slowly came into focus, the left eye remaining blurred while she was able to see clearly from the right.

"Whatdid—" The question remained unfinished upon realizing she was gagged.

"You can thank your sister," Thanos chuckled. "It was her damage that brought us to this."

Nebula shuddered, glaring Thanos down from the cot she was strapped to. If looks could kill he would have been vaporized by the amount of hatred she carried.

The process of calibrating her left eye quickly proved to be the most damaging thing to be done to her. It came at the cost of her eye being taken out and given a "mechanical advantage," as her father had called it. The operation left her hairless and aware that they had tampered with her brain.

Nebula didn't talk to Gamora the weeks that followed. She fell into step of the way Thanos wanted her. His mechanical little soldier.

She went almost two months without speaking to Gamora. Two months spent hoping her hair would come back or that she would wake up to the whole ordeal being a dream. An evening spent training under Ronan brought Nebula to planning to sleep and worry about dealing with Gamora in the morning. It would have gone well had the younger girl not been perched on her bed.

"Get out," Nebula spat and crossed her arms over her chest, blocking the doorway so she could glare down at her sister.

"Not until we talk," Gamora shook her head.

"There's nothing to talk about. Not with you, anyway," She scoffed.

"But I —"

"Don't you get it?" Nebula lunged at Gamora, her fingers ensnarling in her sister's hair before she roughly pulled it. The most pleasing part was the fistful of hair around her fingers. "You did this to me. I don't want anything to do with you anymore."

"How do I stop him?" Nebula groaned and shoved Gamora away from her at that question.

"Let me win once," She glared, blinking rapidly to keep her tears of frustration away. "One chance to prove I — I don't need to be torn apart and turned into the monster he's set on me becoming. I didn't ask to get made into this."

That chance never came and fueled Nebula's need to get even once able to. There was too much damage done to her by Thanos with Gamora being blamed time after time. She couldn't truly get even on things without taking her sister out first.


End file.
